no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
