If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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