like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
