he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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