how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
This baby is an asshole
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Couch. On fire.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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