we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
How's work?
Spinning.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
