Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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