Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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