Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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