she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
