did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
