Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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