So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
