He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
