so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's shark week go big or go home
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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