Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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