i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
