youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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