u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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