Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
