i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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