What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i now understand why vodka
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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