That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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