is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
