last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
