How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
