Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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