i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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