the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
