I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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