we have officially lost it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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