hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Less talking, more tequila
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
