True but thats because hes a fetus.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
