I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
