I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
