my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
