You really coming over, don't trick.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
