He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
