I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
