The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
