this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
