Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
