I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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