seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
