This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
