Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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