In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
