so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
