just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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