What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
